Relationships are hard work. Yes, it’s another hackneyed platitude that has been diluted from so much use. But when does a relationship become too difficult to be worth it? Challenges are the obstacles that test the strength of a relationship, but if you’re turning into the Sisyphus in the relationship and your partner is the rock, things will most likely not turn out well. Difficulty can be fun in a relationship when it’s related to the thrill of “the chase,” but here’s how to recognize when that chase is too strenuous and toxic to handle.

You’re overcompensating

I always notice when I’m feeling unhappy, because the amount of ice cream that I consume weekly goes up at least two-fold. This buttery dessert is not only delicious and fattening, but a means of overcompensating for what you’re lacking in a relationship. But no amount of chocolate will change a person.

You’re irritable

Being with someone that’s not right for you can make you have mood swings. When you’re with them, you try to project an image of happiness, but then you’re quick to lash out at others for seemingly minuscule imperfections. Often, larger issues will disguise themselves behind common pet peeves.

You’re less confident

The best person for you will make you feel like the best version of yourself. But the wrong person will decrease your confidence in your abilities. If they have the power to influence how you feel about yourself negatively, you need to get out right away.

You keep repeating yourself

A toxic person will never understand or synthesize your requests. You’ll have to tell them over and over again how you feel and what you need them to change, but they simply behave the same way. You never seem to get through to them and never make progress.

We all have toxic relationships, but a lot of us let them go on too long because we fear being alone. But know the signs so you can stay clear on the path to the right person!