Congratulations, you’ve been dumped.
Feels great, doesn’t it? No? Feels bad? Oh. Sorry.
But, hey, you’re still here, right? Sort of? We’re here to change that with a kick in the face. Here’s how to get over it in 24 hours or less.
Shut down
Nothing good ever happened when someone texted their ex. No chance for redemption or explanation. It will be tempting, and that’s why you just have to shut down. Every single device you have, turn it off. Not on silent or airplane mode: off. In these very delicate first few post-breakup hours, the urge to contact your ex via some handheld thingamagig will likely infect you. Don’t trust yourself.
Make your tears count
You don’t have to be Iron Man. You are allowed to cry; in fact, encouraged. Crying emotional tears is thought to secrete stress hormones from the body! Plus, it lubricates the eyes. Crying is not a sign of weakness, but a stress response that we shouldn’t try to hold back. Everyone feels a little bit better after a good cry. Think of it as a cleansing ritual, to free yourself from all the old stress of being in a relationship. Yuck. But here’s the thing: for this to work, you can only give yourself one hour to cry. The less time you have to cry, the more time your tears will count. Lock yourself away, let those babies flow, but then, get on with your life.
Block and delete
Are you going to try this “let’s just be friends thing”? We strongly recommend against it, even if things ended amicably. When you have enough strength to turn your phone back on, give your former S.O. a virtual mercy kill. It’s not mean, but it just helps you to move on when you stop seeing their name with little hearts next to it in your contacts. Delete your old texts, messages, and whatever other ways you used to communicate virtually. You’ll be tempted to read over all of those “love you”s and other cheesy crap you used to say to each other. Enough.
Put all your energy into…something
Distraction is the key to getting over it. But it’s not just in doing something passive, because your mind will be ruminating while your body is trying to do something else. You need to be fully engaged in an activity that requires mental and physical exertion. Cooking, for one, is a great way to focus. Dancing, too! Sometimes it’s better to do external activities instead of internal (like writing or painting), though expressive arts are also helpful when dealing with complex emotions.
Don’t talk about it
Hashing out the details of why it didn’t work out will only keep you stranded in the past. Instead, talk about other people with other people. Keeping the focus on you will create a cycle of doubt, worry, and rumination. It didn’t work out. That’s a fact. There’s no going back. If your ex-partner wants you, they’ll get in touch. But it’s your job to take what they said and understand that it’s the truth.
Don’t let this ruin your outlook on love
“Everything happens for….” you know the rest. It’s not you. You’re fine. Great, even. Maybe your ex-partner was a nice person, or an attractive person, or a smart person, but that doesn’t mean they’re the best person for you. Just because one thing didn’t work out doesn’t mean you’re doomed for life. If anything, now you’re one step closer to being with the right person!
Being dumped sucks, but it doesn’t have to for long. Just keep being you, only accept the best, and take up something new!