Social media, matchmaking websites, and apps have made it easier than ever to find a date.
Unfortunately, they have also created a variety of disturbing trends, like “ghosting.” Ghosting is when a person you were seeing suddenly disappears, cutting off all communication without explanation. According to a YouGov survey, 13 percent of U.S. adults have experienced ghosting.
Mosting
Ghosting seems to have spawned several new, equally horrible, dating trends. For example, “Mosting” refers to when someone you’re dating seems to be very into you, but then disappears anyway. Journalist Tracy Moore, who created the term, explains: “It’s not just someone being complimentary and flattering; it’s someone faking being totally smitten when they aren’t.”
Mosting can actually feel worse than ghosting, because when someone is mosting you, you’re usually convinced that they authentically care about you and want to be with you. Some people are so believable that they may have you thinking about a long-term relationship or marriage. However, the dark-side of mosting is that, like ghosting, you don’t get an explanation when the person disappears suddenly.
Dating coach Nick Notas tries to explain the mosting phenomenon: “These men know flattery is an easy way to build interest. They’re usually thinking about having a casual hookup and don’t have the guts to be upfront. Because if they do, they think some women won’t sleep with them,” he says.
Orbiting
The term “orbiting” is another that seems to have grown from ghosting. Orbiting is when someone ghosts you after a date, but continues to follow you on social media. Anna Lovine, who created the term, shares: “I dubbed it ‘orbiting’ during a conversation with my colleague, Kara, when she poetically described this phenomenon as a former suitor ‘keeping you in their orbit’ – close enough to see each other; far enough to never talk.”
Orbiting can take many forms, such as someone following you on Instagram or watching your Facebook Live videos. The person who is doing the orbiting doesn’t necessarily like or comment on any of your social media posts, but you may still notice them viewing your stories.
It’s Not You (Most of the Time)
Whether you’ve been ghosted, mosted, or orbited, it’s probably not your fault. Only occasionally do people ghost because of a genuine desire not to hurt your feelings. Most of the time, people who ghost have their own issues.
You can also blame technology for making ghosting easier and more acceptable. When people meet on Tinder or another app, they often don’t build a strong emotional connection that would make ghosting unthinkable. Technology is also the only thing that makes something as unsettling as orbiting possible.
Some of these new dating trends can leave you confused and frustrated. If you’ve been ghosted, mosted, or orbited, try not to take it personally. Don’t waste your time trying to figure out why it happened or what went wrong, because the right person will stick around.
